My Refrigerator Turned Into A Dungeon

Pigfoot Hammer While keeping watch over the charcoal kiln today and polishing the knife I plan to give to Ruu, Serai-san came by to check on things and suddenly started g

Pigfoot Hammer

 

While keeping watch over the charcoal kiln today and polishing the knife I plan to give to Ruu, Serai-san came by to check on things and suddenly started grumbling.

"Ughhh. I wish I had some cool new weapon or somethiiing~."

Saying that, she interlaced her fingers behind her head and wriggled around, sneaking glances at me… Huh? What’s with that childish begging?

"You’ve got that mithril shoehorn, don’t you? The one that slices through anything? That thing’s crazy strong."

"Mmm, I mean, yeah, that shoehorn’s nice and all. But it’s too sharp, y’know? Like, if it slipped out of my hand, it’d be dangerous."

Uh, that’s true for any weapon? You gotta hold it properly.

"Hey, Egetsu-san… Don’t you think a weapon made from that boar’s tusk would look so cool??"

I mean, the tusks of that gigantic boar are thicker than a mammoth’s tusk in a museum!

"Sure, with your current strength, you might be able to swing it around, but… it’s still way too big, right? Wouldn’t it just get in the way?"

"Ehh~, you really think so~?"

I mean, yeah, in those games where you hunt down giant monsters, you see weapons like that. But something like a battering ram isn’t meant to be swung around solo.

…But, well, she wants to swing it.

"Take it from me, just drop it. The bigger the weapon, the harder it is to stop once it gets momentum. Push yourself too hard, and you’ll wreck your back."

"Then you think of something better for me!!"

Ugh, so unreasonable.

Still, we do need to do something about that giant boar’s bones. They’re just sitting in the yard at the new house, and Gramps keeps telling me to get rid of them already. But if we just bury them carelessly, they might come back as undead later—scary and annoying.

"Hmm, then… What about using smaller bones to make, like, twin blunt weapons?"

"That’s so not cool! I don’t even wanna talk to you anymore!!"

Yikes, must’ve caught her in a bad mood. She stormed off in a huff.

Hmm, even if Serai-san sees herself as an attacker, she’s really more of a tank.

Her frantic, flailing movements draw enemy attention and soak up attacks. Her panic strikes are sloppy, too—she can’t land precise counterattacks like Nina-san or strike from the shadows like Ruu. So honestly, blunt weapons suit her best.

As I mulled it over and kept tending the kiln, Serai-san—who’d stomped off earlier—suddenly came back with a big grin.

Swinging bones in both hands…

"This is so easy to use! Here, Egetsu-san, you try it too!!"

"Huh…?"

Oh boy. I knew it, but a maiden’s heart is as fickle as the autumn sky. Her mood changes in a flash.

Anyway, with a beaming smile, she handed me a massive hammer-like bone, so I took it. Oh—but holding it properly as a weapon, it’s way heavier and harder than I expected…

"Is this… a toe bone?"

"Yeah, probably from around there! It’s easy to grip and super hard—perfect, right?"

Ah. The boar had a ton of legs, but these supported its massive body. Being weight-bearing parts, the bone density must be insane.

"This is good. Well-balanced, and it’s as hard as metal."

"See~~~?!"

Thrilled to have my approval, she started swinging the other bone around wildly. She really likes it.

But this bone… Looking closer, it kinda resembles the handle of a fire wand.

Does that mean fire wand handles are made from monster bones too? Hmm. Still, it’s crazy hard. Feels just like steel—no different from the knife I was polishing earlier. Oh… Wait, calcium is a metal, right? Pretty sure it conducts electricity too.

And now that I think about it, the magic circle for rotational energy extraction requires powdered bone. Maybe that’s not just for occult reasons—could be to conduct magic like electricity. Huh. The deeper you dig, the more interesting it gets.

"Hey, Egetsu-san. What should we name this?"

"Well, it’s shaped like a hammer, and if it’s made from a boar’s toe… Hmm, how about Pigfoot Hammer?"

Hearing that, Serai-san’s eyes instantly turned sharp, and she blew up again.

"Ugh! Why’s it gotta be such a lame name!? Egetsu-san, you idiot!!"

Oof, pissed her off again… My naming sense really is something else.