Harry Potter and the Dovahkiin

Quidditch: Now with Extra Violence



"ANOTHER GOAL FOR HUFFLEPUFF! That's sixty–ten!! Ravenclaw's still trying to catch up, but looks like they've missed the bloody train!"

Lee Jordan's voice boomed across the stands just as a Bludger screamed toward Ben's left.

"Meanwhile, their Beaters—Brown and Alderton—seem to be playing catch with the Puff girls! Can't say I blame them—have you seen those smiles? Woof."

"Mr Davies!"

"Sorry, Professor, just calling it like I see it."

Ben yawned mid-air. He rolled sideways and casually flicked his bat, sending the Bludger whistling back toward the Hufflepuff beaters.

"Oi, Tobias!" Ben called as it came flying back. "Three volleys and I win, right?"

Tobias grunted. "Nah. Gotta spike it into someone's face. That's the rule."

Ben shook his head. "You've got issues, man. I can't go hitting those faces—they're adorable."

Another Bludger zipped in. Ben twisted, smacked it back. CRACK.

"Backhand."

"You'll get backhanded if you keep showboating," Tobias muttered.

From across the pitch, one of the Puffs returned it with such force it left a whistle in the air.

Tobias smashed it back. "Deuce."

"Still think we're playing Quidditch?" Ben grinned. "Feels like Wimbledon"

But down below, it was getting ugly. Ravenclaw's Chasers were scrambling to stay upright as Hufflepuff's trio barrelled through them like runaway carriages.

Roger Davies got spun sideways mid-air by a well-placed shoulder, and Edgar screamed something that definitely wasn't PG.

"Oi!" Marianne shouted up as she dodged a tackle, clutching the Quaffle. "Anytime you two want to join the match, that'd be swell!"

Ben raised an eyebrow. "We're keeping the Bludgers off your backs—You want us to score too, how about a foot rub while we're at it?"

Marianne whipped a pass at Roger, nearly taking his head off. "Start with not letting me get elbowed by someone in a sunflower-yellow jumper!"

Ben glanced at the Hufflepuff Chasers, who were absolutely steamrolling through his team like a pack of cheerful juggernauts.

"Since when did the Puffs get so violent?"

"They're badgers, mate," Marianne huffed as she flew past. "Not teddy bears. They're cute until they bite your face off."

Ben sighed and rolled his neck. "Right. Violence it is."

"Tobias, go long."

Tobias was already moving, a wide grin on his face. "With pleasure."

Ben was a proper gentleman. He couldn't just launch a Bludger at a girl's face. That was Tobias's job.

Ben spotted a Bludger sailing his way, nudged it with a flick of his bat, and sent it straight to Tobias, who was already closing in on the nearest Hufflepuff Beater. Without hesitation, Tobias smashed it straight at her. She raised her bat to block, but it hit her on the arm with a sickening thwack and sent her spinning off her broom.

Ben flicked the second Bludger to Tobias, who hammered it at the other Beater rushing to help. She blocked it, but Ben was already on it, redirecting the rebound right back to Tobias. Without missing a beat, Tobias sent it flying at her again.

In the stands, Luna Lovegood had dressed for the occasion in a feathered blue-and-bronze cape and a matching wide-brimmed hat with fluttering paper wings.

"That one made a perfect spiral," she said dreamily to Cho, who looked halfway between stunned and horrified. "They're going full troll!"

"Ravenclaw's Beaters have ditched the flirting and started fighting! Someone's finally woken up the new kid—and he's not holding back!!" Lee roared.

The two boys dropped lower, tossing a Bludger back and forth as they descended on the Hufflepuff Chasers like hawks.

In this brutal and absurd game of Quidditch, there were no substitutes mid-match. With both Hufflepuff Beaters down and carted off by Madam Hooch, Hufflepuff had nothing left to hold back the storm.

Ben launched a Bludger straight at the nearest Chaser's kneecaps. He went tumbling through the air, poor bloke didn't have the female privilege.

With Hufflepuff's formation falling apart, the Ravenclaw Chasers finally went for the goal—shame Roger still couldn't aim, and the Puff Keeper wasn't quite the cuddly pushover he looked like.

Tobias roared something unintelligible, and sent a bludger flying at the Hufflepuff Keeper.

"AND THERE GOES THE PUFF KEEPER! MERLIN'S PANTS—IF THIS KEEPS UP, RAVENCLAW MIGHT WIN BY KNOCKOUT!"

"Oi!" Ben called as he cruised in low. "You lot scoring or should we just bench the whole team?"

Roger tossed the Quaffle to Marianne. "Do us a favour and cover someone, smart mouth."

Ben snorted. "I am covering—covering for your aim."

Edgar grunted, elbowing past. "Less chat, more smash."

But just ahead, Cedric dropped into a sharp dive.

Ben's smirk faded. "Heads up—Diggory's sniffed something shiny."

"Oi, Eleanor! Your boyfriend's about to ruin the party!"

"He's not my boyfriend anymore!!!"

Eleanor clocked Cedric's dive and shot after him like a dart, wind screaming past her ears.

"Go on, pretty bird!" Marianne whooped from behind, lobbing the Quaffle into the goal as she flew.

Ben barely registered the cheers—he was already tracking Cedric.

"Let's see how fast you really are," he muttered, bat ready.

He swung at the first Bludger just as Tobias launched the second. Cedric tucked low, hugging his broom like a racer hugging corners.

"Come on," Ben growled narrowing his eyes, looped round under the action, waited—then whacked the returning Bludger full-force.

CRACK.

The Bludger slammed into the tail of Cedric's broom. The Hufflepuff Seeker spun out like a Catherine wheel, flipping end over end as Eleanor zipped past him, chasing the glint of gold.

Ben just hovered, watching Cedric spiral. "Took your sweet time, gravity."

"WHITMORE'S GOT IT—RAVENCLAW TAKES THE MATCH! AND HUFFLEPUFF TAKES A NAP! REMIND ME TO NEVER LOOK A RAVENCLAW BEATER IN THE EYE AGAIN!"

The stands exploded as Ravenclaw students shot to their feet, wands firing bursts of blue and bronze confetti into the air.

Eleanor landed with the Snitch held high, triumphant. "Well, look who finally earned his broom polish."

Ben arched a brow. "Look who finally caught something that wasn't feelings."

She laughed, flicking her hair. "Please. If anyone here's catching feelings, it's your fan club in the front row."

Roger came zooming in, arm outstretched. "Finally! Team hug, or I'm reporting all of you for unsportsmanlike behaviour!"

Naturally, no one took him seriously.

Marianne shot in from behind and wrapped Eleanor in a big, almost choking bear hug. "Knew you'd get it, Whitmore! Took you long enough."

Edgar flew by and smacked Ben on the back so hard he nearly dropped his bat. "Nice work, Bludger Boy."

Tobias hovered nearby, grinning. "Hug me and I'll headbutt you."

Roger gulped and held up his hand instead. "Settle for a high five?"

Tobias slammed his palm into Roger's with a crack that echoed.

Roger winced. "You're all emotionally repressed, you know that?" He said, nursing his hand.

"Keep whining and you'll catch a Bludger," Marianne called.

"Honestly, I'd take it. At least it'll give me some attention!" Roger shouted.

They all burst out laughing as they shuffled off the pitch, shoulders nudging, elbows knocking, with Cho and the other reserves slipping into the mix. Roger grinned, calling over his shoulder, "And if anyone asks, I totally carried you lot!"

-To be Continued..

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